15 May 2023

The Saturday treat, Exquisitely Boity’s Mother’s Day Breakfast could not have been a better way for mothers to celebrate their day.

Mothers came in numbers, dressed to the nines in purple, lilac, cerise pink with a touch of floral and fascinators.

Now in its third year, the event centered on reminding mothers that they are beautiful even with all the challenges that come with motherhood.

The theme of the day, Finding Joy in Motherhood Amidst Change and Diversity,  got mothers talking about the importance of self-care, balance, exercise, family and friends’ support.

They talked about the importance of seeking help when overwhelmed with responsibilities of motherhood, work and being a wife for some.

“So many moms forget about themselves with all the stress and obligations of family and children. There are many mothers who work hard, neglect themselves and do not get enough affirmation. It was wonderful to take a few hours to feel good about ourselves,” said Jessica Motsomi a mother who attended the event.

Lorato Maseko, a young new mother of a two year-old daughter also enjoyed time out with other mothers.

We listened, talked, learnt and some moments were quite emotional. I really feel that we formed  sisterhood today,” stated Maseko.

The event was also a perfect platform for transformational leader and coach, Phetso Ntsowe, who spoke passionately about her journey with mental health.

Diagnosed with depression in 2013 and 2018, Ntsowe narrated that she fell pregnant in 2012 and painted a picture of a perfect family that she would have.

“There were times when I would be excited at being pregnant and other times I just would not want to go through with the pregnancy,” said Ntsowe.

It was this roller coaster of emotions that drove her to depression in 2012 but would not want to believe and accept that even when the doctor told her.

“After I delivered my baby I bonded well with him but I was not okay. Even family could recognise that I was not well although traditionally when such happens, it is associated it with witchcraft,” explained Ntsowe.

She recollected that she experienced the worst years of her condition in 2016 until 2018 when once she woke up and could not feel anything in her body. “I was numb and couldn’t use my legs nor arms. I thought it was stroke. I was taken to a doctor where they ran tests and everything came back negative,” stated Ntsowe.

She said she knew then that something was seriously wrong. “A doctor refereed me to see a psychologist but I did not want to because I knew the answer to my condition, I was in denial. I refused to accept and my partner asked if I would only accept it if I had a heart attack? I said yes,” stated Ntsowe.

The aspiring anthropologist said she eventually consulted with a psychologist who diagnosed her with severe depression. “It was the second after 2013 diagnosis,” stated Ntsowe.

Luckily for her, she was never short of love and support from her family who encouraged her to undergo treatment.

Her advice to mothers is to always take time out, network, learn new things, get support system from friends and family and not be apologetic about not being okay.

“It is okay to not feel okay we cannot be superwomen, we have a lot to do as mothers and women so it is okay to not be okay sometimes,” said Ntsowe.

Another speaker, Boitshwarelo Lebang-Kgetse, talked about the importance of balancing motherhood and fitness which she said could be challenging but mothers need to personalise fitness according to what worked for them.

Lebang-Kgetse also spoke about the soft life that mothers need to create for themselves. “Work smart and create a soft life for yourself and achieve a lot from that,” she said and encouraged mothers to invest in things that speak to them.

She reminded them that they would get fulfillment if they invested in what spoke to them and what they believed to be soft life to them.

 “Apply your softness in the boardroom and get intended results, do not harden yourself as a woman, but work smart and soft,” said.

A performance by Khoi San made the day extra special for mothers who also got makeover advise from Clarins. Some mothers scored themselves prizes after short quizzes from the various speakers’ presentations. BOPA