04 Mar 2019

Concerns have been raised over the high number of objections to marriages in the Kgatleng District attributable mainly to people’s failure to tell their partners the truth.

Kgatleng assistant district commissioner, Ms Lydia Keatlholetswe, told a recent workshop co-organised by Re A Nyalana and Men’s Sector that reasons for objections ranged from men having promised marriage to other women to issues of support for children from previous relationships.

She said her office was also concerned about the number of requests for special marriage licenses.

“Special marriage licenses are urgent and skip all the processes of registering a marriage for 21 days, pre-marital counselling, among others and one wonders why people are in a rush to get through something that is supposed to last a lifetime,” she said.

She said statistics showed that Botswana was besieged by marital problems which often resulted in couples seeking divorce.

“Whether or not a marriage survives when a problem hits depends on the problem and how a couple decides to deal with that problem,” she said.

She said couples who worked together in resolving conflicts were more likely to save their marriages while those who lacked conflict resolution skills might find themselves in the divorce court for problems that could have easily been solved.

She said financial issues were the most common source of marital conflicts.

“Most couples argue over bills, debt, spending and other financial issues,” she said adding discipline, care and other parenting issues could also be sources of disagreements between couples.

She further said friends to couples could also contribute to disagreements saying not all friends were helpful to relationships but were in fact toxic.

Other issues that caused problems in marriage were sex frequency, quantity and quality, she said further noting that withholding sex to punish a spouse broke the marital bond.

“Cheating on a spouse destroys the trust that has been built and it is very difficult to get it back,” she said.

Ms Keatlholetswe said irritating habits, family, false expectations, personality conflicts, arguing over equitable distribution of household responsibilities and time apart were other sources of marital problems.

She called upon pastors and other leaders to educate the public about the importance of marriage and family and having conflict-free families.

Other common issues in the district were inheritance conflicts, religious and cultural differences, she said. ENDS