15 Jun 2014

Sunday (June 14) has come and gone, some men had some people put a big smile on their face while others did not even look forward to the day.

It was Father’s day. A day in which men look to one of the aspects that made them real men - fathering children and celebrating their fatherhood. Father’s Day is celebrated worldwide to recognise the contribution that fathers and father figures make to the lives of their children.

The day celebrates fatherhood and male parenting. Although it is celebrated on a variety of dates worldwide, many countries observe this day on the third Sunday in June.

On Father’s Day, many people make a special effort for their fathers or father figures. Some people visit their fathers, while others give cards, flowers or other gifts, such as clothing or sporting equipment, or luxury food items.

Father’s Day is a relatively modern holiday, so different families have different traditions. These can range from a simple phone call or greetings card to large parties honoring all father figures in an extended family. Father figures can include fathers, step-fathers, fathers-in-law, grandfathers, great-grandfathers and even other male relatives

It is quite a great day especially for those whose fathers are present in their lives. On the other side of the flip, it comes either just as another day or one of the bad days of their lives.

Olebogeng Robert*, a socialite and fashion guru as well as entertainer is one man who has never really had to celebrate father’s day until he became a father. He grew up not knowing who his father was, and at the age of 37 still is not eager to know.

People who are in the limelight like him, who have grown up not knowing their father have had mysterious incidents where men would approach them to tell them that they are their biological father.

For him, he hasn’t any man coming to approach him as yet, but neither is he looking forward to that day. When asked how he will react, he said, that would not make any difference as he feels he has grown up enough to need the guidance of a father in his life.

Neither is he eager to go out looking for his father as he feels that his grandmother has done enough to raise the strong kind of man he is.

Robert’s mother left Gaborone to work in Selebi Phikwe at his tender age, and he was raised by his grandmother, and he does not stop expressing gratitude to the way his grandmother has raised him.

Growing up with an absent father in his life, he was never moved an inch to celebrate father’s day only until he became a father some seven years ago.

“It is quite sad to live not knowing your father, because at times you would really want some manly issues to be explained to you by the man close to you, and I never got that”, he said with a frowning face, showing that the man indeed would have loved to have grown with his biological father by his side.

But none the less, Robert says on the flip side of life, growing without a father has made him a very strong man as he learnt to fend for himself at a very tender age. He tells of how he is not scared or afraid of facing life head on, no matter the type of situations, as he has always grown up facing situations on his own.

“While having an awesome dad can help you become an awesome man, growing up fatherless can also motivate you to become better than whoever your dad is”, he said. He said, he has never really had to celebrate father’s day, neither has he ever thought of doing so.

Probably, reasoning that the culture of celebrating such days, has just encroached among some few Batswana who have been more civilized and westernized.

Robert says, it has never made a difference for him to do something special for anybody as living without a father has made him look at some men and see them as nothing but people who just learn to survive just like him.

It is only at times, when his six year old daughter gets to know that it is father’s day that she wrote him a loving message to thank him for being the best father that he is to him.

Growing without a father has made me so different minded towards children as I would want to establish family and be very close to my children, he said. ENDS