12 Jan 2022

Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration and together with family and friends; each couple is full of hope and dreams for their future life together.

However, the road to a happy marriage is far from easy, and as divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey.

Moreover, they say ‘marriage does not make you happy, it makes you married and it is your job to make it happy or not!’

The COVID-19 pandemic has not helped as it has put an added strain on individuals’ mental and financial health, making marriages even harder.

In an interview with BOPA in Gaborone on Tuesday, Willone counseling services, Psychologist, Ms One Nkitseng said the COVID-19 pandemic had exalted the biggest emotional and financial toll on married couples, since it began two years ago.

Ms Nkitseng said like many others, married couples had been hit hard by the pandemic that has also sunk the economy. It has also thrown thousands of men and women out of work, forced families into isolation and taken the lives of many, further increasing stress within marriages.

She highlighted that it was more important than ever for married couples to show appreciation and deeper commitment to one another, adding that challenges that couples mostly faced were centered around issues of sex and intimacy, finances and the way they relate to each other on a daily basis.

On issues of sex and intimacy, Ms Nkitseng noted that it was important for couples to continue behaving like first time lovers, regardless of how long they have been together.

“Sexual intimacy in marriage is central to the strength and unity between partners, however, it involves more than sex alone,” as it compromises of the genuine closeness, support and companionship shared with each other.

Ms Nkitseng noted that many couples may love each other, but lack the necessary intimacy, adding that developing true and lasting sexual intimacy takes work and a desire by both partners to prioritise a satisfying and high quality relationship.

“It is important that partners express their thoughts, feelings and desires to one another,” she said.

She said financial planning and literacy was vital in marriage, adding that financial candidness and honesty was extremely important in a relationship.

Honesty, she further explained, was essential, especially during the current turbulent economic hardships brought upon by the COVID-19 pandemic, as it would allow a couple to discuss the circumstances that led to the mismanagement of funds, the best strategy for damage control and how a similar issue could be prevented in the future.

Ms Nkitseng said her organisation plans to host a couples’ dinner to discuss various topics that affect marriages and would ultimately provide an opportunity to re-establish a loving foundation that proves strong when conflict, disagreements and hardships arise. Ends