24 Nov 2021

Men have been advised to exercise restraint and learn to tame pain until they heal from traumatic heartbreaks and provocations. 

At joint commemorations of international men’s day and 16 days of activism against violence on women and children Monday, speakers challenged men to seek help when beleaguered by emotional and psychological problems especially. 

They premised their advice on findings that men were chief perpetrators of gender-based violence on women and children as per statistics from Baines Drift police station. 

“Se se botlhoko thata ka go tsiediwa ke gore o tlabo o akantse se mokapelo wa gago a ka tswang a se dira le monna yo mongwe ka nako e wena o leng nosi ene a seyo,” (meaning cheating makes you insecure as you are constantly wondering if your lover is doing it with another man when you are away and alone) said Goeme Rabane* who once caught his wife cheating with a married man. 

A teacher at Mmadinare Senior School, Mr Rabane opined that the very thought that one’s partner could be cheating was one step towards murder, hence many men had murdered their partners and were now languishing in prison. 

Mr Rabane, a survivor of harrowing heartbreak, shared the story of how he managed to tame pain and beat temptation to commit gender based violence at a time when he was overwhelmed by emotions. 

Mr Rabane encouraged men to seek spiritual counseling even when under overwhelming circumstances, to avoid committing murder and other heinous acts on women. 

“While still battling with the cheating part I received divorce papers and a restraining order, but I did not break though I was emotionally battered,” said Mr Rabane as he appealed to men to face trying times with calmness and an open mind. 

Assistant superintendent Goletwa Kethamile of Baines Drift police, speaking at the same event called on men who perpetrated violence on women and children to reform. 

He said his station recorded 83 cases of gender-based violence-related crimes from January through November while 66 were recorded in the same duration last year. Of the 83 cases, two men were violated while the rest were women and children, especially girls. Of the 66, one man was violated. 

Mr Kethamile quizzed rhetorically why men were quick to threaten to kill women and children and at any slightest mistake committed, “Ao borre, gorileng? A mme re bona re direla bomme le bana sentle ha e re sengwe se diragala e be re tshosetsa go ba bolaya?” meaning men had to think rationally and stop threatening to kill women and children whenever they were unhappy. *Not real name. Names changed to protect other subjects. Any similarity to any name is coincidental and regretted. ends