03 Jul 2019

How important is a father in a child’s life? 

Are Batswana men taking their roles as fathers seriously? 

It is because of questions like these that author, life coach and motivational speaker Ashley Thaba has called on Batswana men to identify single-parenting moms and volunteer to spend time with their sons doing various activities. 

Speaking in an interview, Ms Thaba said this was brought on by a video she posted on her Facebook page Mom to Mom: Parenting Consultations that went viral. 

With over 23 000 views and shares within a couple of days, Ms Thaba said she was challenging men to raise up and help the young generation. 

She said she was sitting at home alone because her husband, Mr Percy Thaba, went out with their son to watch a soccer match, as he frequently takes young Caleb to do ‘man’ things together. 

“The whole of Thursday over the holiday, I mean from 7:30am to 7pm. He took Caleb to the farm and the two of them built a chicken coop. 

Last week, they were slaughtering a chicken and goat together. 

On Fridays, Percy takes him to soccer and cheers him on at practice. 

Every morning, they get up together and clean out the brooder where the newly hatched chicks sleep and give them fresh food and water,” she said in the post. 

Ms Thaba said young Caleb beams with pride and joy whenever he is useful and helpful to his father and you can also see how proud he is. 

She further noted that her husband is intentional about spending time and pouring knowledge, love, the spirit of hard work, patience etc into their son. 

“He is intentional about bonding with the girls also, but in different ways and right now I want to talk about the father/son relationship,” she continued. 

Ms Thaba said recently she was leading a marriage seminar and one of the lady attendants commented on how as a single mother she feels her son is missing some of the masculine touch a man could bring to his life. 

“From a strictly objective psychological perspective, statistics prove that boys do miss out on something without a father or at least a very strong father-like figure in their lives,” she continued, further adding, that is why she is challenging men to identify single mothers and volunteer their time to engage in activities with the boys. 

“Can you identify a single mom and volunteer to go play soccer with her son, to take him to the farm with you, or to, in some intentional way, bless that mother by loving her son?,” she quizzed. 

Ms Thaba said even if it is just greeting the son at church and asking him about his life and showing interest, it is something. 

“If you are blessed to have children around the same age, you and your wife can invite the child for frequent play dates. 

I am sure the single mom could use a bit of rest too,” she said. 

Ms Thaba went on to say that another lady at the marriage seminar also said most Batswana men are not good at commitment and being good fathers. 

“But then, as we chatted we realised that most of the people in the room were raised by single moms. 

Maybe our Batswana men just do not know how to be good fathers because they have never seen it modeled,” said Ms Thaba. 

She encouraged those that are blessed in holy marriages to invite these young men into their homes and pour into them. 

“Share life with them. 

Let them see what it can look like to be part of a healthy happy marriage. 

If one by one, you and I can pour into the boy child and the young man who is starting to think about starting a family, we can make a difference and conversations like these might not be so common anymore,” she indicated. 

She said she was not trying to point fingers at single mothers,  but rather challenge the healthy men to disciple and model boys and young men around them. 

“Remember the African proverb - It Takes a village to raise a child, so let us rise up and lead our families,” she concluded. 

With the world having celebrated Father’s Day a couple of weeks ago and not taking anything away from the fathers that step up and have been stepping up for a longtime, it would not hurt to think about other children who are raised by single mothers and missing out on a father and giving them the support they need. 

If we are not for us and loving our neighbours as we love ourselves, then we are missing the entire concept of being decent human beings. Ends