01 Dec 2016

Married women have been urged to use the skill of talking to mould and build their families.

Pastor Adrian Khumalo said during a marriage workshop in Orapa on Tuesday that women were skilled at talking in a marriage set up.

Pastor Khumalo said women should rather use that skill of talking to mould their families which they use during arguments to win a case or topic of discussion with the spouse.

Differences, he said could cause a divorce, therefore another party should be able to state valid reasons as to what caused the differences in their marriage for another party to understand.

Pastor Khumalo noted that spouses were entitled to know everything about each other, saying in order to have notable growth and mature relationship, secrets were not allowed.

He cited that spouses should be able to access each other’s phones.

He said women appear weak but are strong whilst men appear strong but tires quickly.

Women he said hurt, burst, cries while men bottle up problems.

Pastor Khumalo said women thrives well under an atmosphere of love and affection, citing that women were not after big houses, cars and expensive gadgets which seems to be the impression on men.

Men, he said thrive well when respected and use sex encounter to cement a sound relationship whilst women use sex to celebrate a relationship in a good standing.

Resistance of sex by women, he said was a reaction to some negativity or difference taking place in the relationship, while men force sexual encounter if they wanted to.

The main reason women got into marriage he said was to find an environment characterised by love and affection while men got in to marriage for sex.

Pastor Khumalo further stated that it was essential to minimise masculine arrogance for a marriage to work and flourish.

Men and women, he said complement each other for growth, sign of maturity and symmetrical development.

Husbands, he said were supposed to take care of their wives whilst pregnant and support them during birth.

He criticised women for the tendency of dressing up only when they go out and never dress up when they were home.

Pastor Khumalo stated that in most cases after two years, marriage changes and goes through marital erosion.

He stated that there were two types of divorce being macro and micro.

He noted that macro divorce is whereby divorcing partners go through the normal procedure of divorce at high court while micro is whereby partners remain staying together whilst they are not emotionally attached.

Many marriages, he said were cages as some partners have developed into birds in the cage syndrome.

He stated that people from different religions divorce in large numbers, noting that divorce happens to everyone. Pastor Khumalo stated that underage relationships, cross cultural relationships would not work if there is no compromise between parties.

He noted that between 2003 and 2012, men in Botswana killed 816 women while women killed 60 men. ENDS