07 May 2015

For children to appreciate who they are, we have to afford them the same upbringing platforms and such will influence them to appreciate one another, says Men and Boys for Gender Equality team leader.

Desmond Lunga believes that human beings learn from each other. Consequently, he says the absence of fathers in the homes raises the question; from whom should the boy child learn?

Thus, the absence of fathers leaves them no choice but to learn from the streets or from their misguided peers. Some of these “role models” are street fighters, womanisers, ba ba bokiwang gotwe ba blind.

M &E for Gender Equality communications officer, Peter Sejoe, chips in and says the boy child misses out a lot when compared to his overly protected female counterpart.

“Boys are less protected and such promotes a violent masculinity notion, passed from one generation to the other, thanks to the culture that teaches us that the boy child has to explore certain things on his own,” reckons Sejoe.

On the other hand, Lunga says the boy cannot express himself given society expects him to endure or cope under the wrong notion that he is a man. He says boys grow up learning risky behavior since they are allowed to take risks.

Boys are put under so much pressure to grow into men quickly. Men buy prostitutes yet women are blamed for such. This is wrong, he says. Such behavior is not innate but learned.
We need men in the raising of ideal men.  We cannot use television and music or sub-cultures to raise the boy child. The way it is now, indicates that there is a problem, their values are all wrong, argues Lunga.

Incidentally, chips in Sejoe, that is why today you find boys such as those in Thamaga terrorising communities. The two men concur that parents have to be involved in their children’s upbringing.

Thus, men appreciating the need to talk to their boys on issues such as manhood and circumcision, among others. Lunga says boys need to be taken along.

The duo stresses that men have to be involved from pregnancy to adulthood, and start learning to be vocal about issues that concern the boy child. If men are present, it will be evident in the child’s behaviour. Lore lo o jwa le sale metsi. We should instill discipline at a tender age.  Ends