07 Aug 2024

August 3, 2024 was what would pass as a normal pre-fall somewhat chilly day for many, but to Holy Matrimonians, it is bound to remain etched not only in history books, but also in the hearts of members, most of whom gathered in Mogoditshane to celebrate Holy Matrimony Society (HMS)’s first anniversary. 

The day, which also doubled as an annual general meeting, attracted over 50 married women and a sizeable number of husbands from all over Botswana, representing the six branches that are spread across the breadth and width of the country. 

Clad in traditional royal blue skirts, popularly known as basadi botlhe and checkered Botswana blue Aranda shawls, the women left nothing to chance, ensuring that their better halves look the part with blue denim pants and royal blue blazers.

Perhaps one of HMS’s trademarks is dressing to the T, as seen in all their physical gatherings, where theme colours are observed without fail.

It is, therefore, no surprise that the society ensured it went all out on branding and launched its uniform items on its very first birthday, having registered with the Registrar of Societies in August 2023.  Passing by Dream Catcher Hotel’s screen wall, one would be excused for thinking that there was a wedding taking place inside the resort.

The jubilant crowd punctuated speeches, most of which were fashioned to motivate married couples to ensure they enjoyed each other’s company throughout the days of their lives, with song and dance, ululating all the way to the cutting of the cake as though they were celebrating their weddings once more. 

The only missing part of the ‘mock wedding’ was the renewal of vows, the part that is usually saved for last - the December couples vacation that takes place at secluded locations meant to stamp and seal the sacred nature of marriage and rejuvenate the couples’ closeness that is sometimes compromised by the hustle and bustle of life.

Sharing her roadmap, co-founder of HMS, Dr Charity Opelo, emphasised the need to be robust about marriage enrichment programmes in order to inculcate such things as health of married couples, lack of which sometimes compromised peace, leads to disputes, especially where conjugal rights were affected by the spouse’s ill health.  

She expressed concern that some couples were reluctant to test for non-communicable diseases although they were among those that bedevil today’s society. 

Dr Opelo celebrated the acquisition of the society’s data base, which she said was expensive, but worth their while. 

She said the data base gave the leaders a clear picture of the kind of membership HMS had attracted in terms of social strata, which would then inform how each member’s life could be edified for the betterment of marriage life.  

 This could come in the form of assisting one further their education, upskilling them or advising on avenues to take in view of their social, educational or economic status, over and above motivating them to stick to their partners through thick and thin, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health as in the book of Ruth 1: 1-9. 

Dr Opelo also celebrated the launch of the uniform which includes a t-shirt, white shawl with leteisi dress,  headgear and an apron. The apron symbolises a woman’s duty to lend a helping hand wherever she finds community members hard at work. Men are to wear brown chino pants with white shirts and green blazers. 

Dr Opelo said the uniform helped create a sense of identity and unity among society members, fostering a strong sense of belonging and solidarity. 

“Wearing uniform makes it easier for the public to recognise members of the society, enhances visibility and promotes the society’s brand during events and community activities.   During events and gatherings, uniform helps in maintaining order and cohesion, making it easier to identify and organise participants,” she said, adding that “wearing uniform can signify a member’s commitment to the society’s values and objectives, reinforcing their dedication to its mission.” 

HMS was founded in 2018 by Dr Opelo and husband Opelo Baleseng and their mission is to recruit into the society and offer support to other married couples in navigating married life. 

Dr Opelo, a USA-certified family and marriage counsellor, marriage officer, master mentor, and relationship coach, spearheads the society with the help of Keamogetse Kgakgamatso and Jaqueline Obert with the support of branch commitees and the endorsement from Baleseng, who would say, while ‘God gave the man an authority to be the heads, he gave the woman ‘massive’ wisdom’. 

 It is, therefore deliberate that HMS is led primarily by women, with men supporting from behind to allow women, especially those who are housewives, to flourish. 

HMS has been dedicated to ensuring the success of marriages through supportive programmes such as marriage conferences and couple vacations. Among the objectives of HMS are; to promote marriage programmes and policies through practical and effective implementations; to promote honesty and faithfulness between couples to curb broken family situations and divorce; to offer assistance to women and children affected by gender-based violence in partnership with existing organisations. 

HMS also exists to improve the efficiency of health education and health promotion programmes targeting women and children; to increase opportunities for the professional and personal development of women through the provision of support skills; to support women in achieving their full potential and encourage, and facilitate their active involvement in learning and community life as well as to assist in reducing exposure to harmful factors in families, thereby creating a healthy environment. 

In furtherance of these objectives, HMS intends to organise and hold marriage conferences and workshops and capacity-building training for married men as well as manage panel discussions geared towards imparting knowledge on marital issues.

 Among the celebrated achievements was the fact that HMS had been consistently engaged in community work through branch-to-branch charity events such as the Tswapong branch’s adoption of the Sefhare Prison, resulting in donating and spending quality time with inmates and officers five times and Francistown’s taking care of a needy new mother, who is also a member.

 The Serowe/Palapye branch has also once donated baby necessities to Serowe’s Sekgoma Memorial Hospital maternity wing. 

The society also appreciated having received numerous testimonies from married couples who were on the verge of divorce, but had since reconsidered their decisions after the counselling they received from HMS. 

While HMS has every reason to celebrate its numerous achievements, it is not without challenges, among them financial constraints, which have been a significant hurdle, preventing the expansion of services to rural areas and hampering recruitment efforts.

The society is also struggling to maintain an office space due to rent and utility costs. 

HMS is, therefore, appealing to organisations, stakeholders, and members of the society for sponsorship to cover office and recruitment costs as many of its members are unemployed, making it difficult to run their families and actively participate in society initiatives. 

 Lack of funds is also a stumbling block that prevent HMS from holding induction training for branch committee members.

Struggling with challenges has, however, not stopped HMS from planning for activities that could strengthen the society, including robust recruitment for branches with low membership, marriage enrichment projects to address the issues of divorce and troubled marriages among members as well as end of year celebration and couples vacation scheduled for December at a secluded place. Ends