13 May 2024

 On May 12 cities, towns and villages were abuzz with Mother’s Day celebrations, whose purpose was to elevate, appreciate and honour mothers from all walks of life, the world over.

Adding to the buzz was Holy Matrimony Society (HMS), a married couples’ community, whose Gaborone branch converged at Mogoditshane’s Kagisong Hotel to workshop couples on issues affecting marriage.

Themed Songs of Solomon from the Biblical book in which a lover constantly showers his wife with praises and adorations, the event sought to bring couples closer for the edification of marriage.

To further stamp on the theme, the organisers chose couple twinning as the day’s attire.

The workshop was characterised by words of encouragement from preachers, marriage counsellors and fellow society members, whose presentations were punctuated by readings from the Bible, gospel and love songs.

Addressing the women-led society members, Apostle Stephen Leboro told them about the importance of letting women lead because ‘they know the purpose of life and have the ability to see beyond the curtain of time’.

While he did not dispute that men were God’s appointed heads of their houses, he reminded them that a head without a neck was purposeless.

Pastor Leboro told the husbands that it was their duty to ensure that their wives looked good in public for the marriage life to be as blissful as the love that Songs of Solomon portray.

Pastor Leboro reminded the men  that uttering bitter words to a wife was as good as cursing their relationships because ‘lefoko ga le boe go boa monwana’. For her part, marriage counsellor, Ms Phemelo Mongwato spoke against gender-based violence, which she said was a result of mental ill health.

She said it was married couples’ responsibility to preserve future generations through peaceful lives that would ensure that they grew up mentally healthy.

Ms Mongwato said for marriage to work people should enter matrimonial life with open minds, knowing that they were joining people who were brought up in different environments, some of which compromised their mental health such as parentlessness, poverty, lack of proper guidance and an array of all other life’s challenges.

“Ha o tsena mo nyalong, for you to function as one flesh you should agree even in spirit, otherwise it [marriage] won’t work,” she said.

She encouraged the couples to build legacies for the sake of their offspring so that they do not become a burden in their old age because black tax could breed resentment on the part of the married couples.

She however hastened to explain that by saying a man will leave his mother and father, the Bible does not mean that children should neglect their parents in the afternoons of their lives, adding that ignorance of misinterpretation of such a scripture could also be a source of GBV.

Ms Mongwato also cited intimacy as one of the sources of GBV in that people misunderstood that the anatomy of men was different from that of women, giving an example that women in their childbearing age would be less intimate due to workloads that come with raising children and employment while men’s libido goes down as they age.

Such swapping of ‘positions’ could be stressful to marriage and breed conflicts that may in turn lead to promiscuity. She said failure to meet each other halfway was a recipe for GBV.

Ms Mongwato said another source of conflicts was failure to manage finances, saying nowadays marriage was industrialised. She therefore advised that money did not bring peace, but could make the environment peaceful if handled well.

She encouraged couples to normalise planning together and ensuring they acquired property within 10 years of their marriage in order to enjoy aging together.

She also mentioned the importance of taking care of children born out of wedlock, saying if their issues were not well handled they could cause distress for the spouse, especially the one who was not their biological parent, was nonetheless legally bound to maintain them.

Mr Opelo Baleseng, the husband to HMS president and founder, Dr Charity Koobokile-Opelo encouraged HMS to support their wives and trust them to lead the society without feeling belittled because God gave the women the power and gave the men authority to run homes.

He strongly advised members to keep the society apolitical and reminded them that it was Christian based and was anchored on the Bible.

Earlier on, HMS secretary, Ms Vivian Kgakgamatso, shared the mandate of the society together with the day’s objectives.

She said HMS was created to empower the wife and the child together with the husband. Emphasis is on the wife and the child because issues mostly affected the two.

She suggested that the children be informed about the existence of HMS so that even when the parents are no more, children would know where to seek assistance when going through rough patches and needing counselling.

She said the theme Songs of Solomon was appropriate as it was all about love, adoration for the partner, self-love and personal hygiene. Ms Kgakgamatso said couples should ensure that they learn their partners’ background so as to know how to treat them and even meet them halfway.

She said merging and helping each other out of sticky situation could spell the success of marriage. She referred to the love that is described in the Biblical book of Corinthians.

She also encouraged fellow HMS members never to forget their roots, saying cultural background often led to stable homes because a cultured wife would strive to build and mend where all that was broken and care for the ailing. ENDS