24 Jan 2021

Due to the fast-paced world, parents tend to overlook the need to spend time with their children. Many tend to forget that a moment with a parent is what a child needs to develop mentally, socially and emotionally.

To help parents who are struggling to balance the two, a counselling psychologist assistant at Legato Centre for Psychometric Assessment, Ms Lone Masilo explained that being emotionally available for a child did not mean that parents should avail themselves for the whole day.

Rather, she said, one should be able to connect with a child by conversing about life and involving them in the proceedings of the family system. This, she said, should include even consulting them in every aspect of life and decisions made in the family.

She said when engaged, it enhanced the development of well-rounded children that functioned well, adding that they grew psychological, emotional as well as to have logic maturity.

“In many instances, parents are physically present, yet emotional unavailable,” said Ms Masilo.  Ms Masilo said an emotionally absent parent contributed in failing to accord psychological warmth to their child.

She said for a child to have good mental well-being, it started with the first encounter of relations which points to parents and or family, as they were the first and most prominent figures in a child’s early life.

“The home environment is a window to the world, and it will affect every relationship with the outside world, be it at school, work or personal relationships,” she said.

She said if parents were emotionally distant, a child would struggle to build meaningful long-term relationships with others in their life, whether platonic or romantic.

Ms Masilo further noted that sometimes parents got pre-occupied with certain events in life such as the birth of another child, death or divorce, and that in the process  they ignored other children.

She said during such times, it was important that children should be given attention, and where possible, a qualified assistant should be engaged.  

She said children with emotionally unavailable parents tended to think that there were neglected and abandoned as they grew up.  She said such children tended to have low self-esteem, adding that it also increased the chances of developing mental disorders as well as depression and anxiety.

She, therefore, called upon parents to be emotionally present, saying they should spend quality time with their children. 

“That 5-10 minutes enthusiastically listening to the child talking can make a huge impact,” said Ms Masilo. ENDS