24 Jun 2019

If you are planning to walk down the aisle and all you think of is ticking Married for your marital status, or holding the bridal party that will send the town into a frenzy, or marrying a high profiled spouse, then you should think again as to why you are getting married, lest you find yourself among the single and searching batch.

Pastor Karabo Sename of the Latter Glory Church shared insights of why marriages continue to fail in the country recently in an interview with BOPA.

The Serowe based youthful pastor who is the organiser of Marriage Seminar now in its second year running, says the number of divorce cases in the country inspired him to inaugurate the seminal meet, first held at Palapye last year while this year will be held on July 27 also in Palapye.

Pastor Sename said this year’s edition will be bigger and better as they intend to rope in stakeholders such as church leaders, chiefs, counselors and high court judges as they also handle marriage cases. 

He said divorce affects both atheists and believers and as such it encompasses all. The Latter Glory Church leader said while interacting with couples during pre-marital counseling sessions he observed that most couples marry for wrong reasons and such contribute to the escalating number of divorces that are a concern in the country.

“The divorces we see today is due to poor foundations, in some instances. I am able to tell that one is ready for the extravagant wedding ceremony and all, the wining and dining, but not ready for the institution of marriage,” he said.  

Pastor Sename said until a time when people realise that marriage is instituted and sustained by God then the institution of marriage would continue to crumble. 

“My desire is to witness a set-up where pre-marital counseling will be mandatory for couples that intend to wed. This counseling is offered for free in most churches and it helps couples to understand what they are getting into.” 

The pastor said that a man should marry a woman, defined as a helper who fits him as per the biblical inscriptions, adding that marrying just for forming the part or wrong reasons such as materials including money was likely to result in one marrying an incompatible partner. 

He said marrying for wrong reasons does not only affect non-Christians but Christians too, adding that they were also part of the escalating divorce statistics.

“At times a pastor will go for a lady who seems to be financial upright with the expectation that she will take care of some financial needs in the family or even in the church. Once that expectation is not met, trouble starts often resulting in divorce.”

Failure to accept one another’s weaknesses, intolerance and lack of forgiveness also paralyses marriages and the pastor said the marriage seminar should not be viewed as a sermon but a platform to diagnose marriage and come up with solution to enhance the beautiful institution.  

“The divorce has social and economic impact on the country, given that some couples undergoing separation/divorce are employees, and such weighs down on their performances due to both physical and emotional abuse common in soured relationship.” 

He said divorce wars affect children who endure negative things such as custody battles. He said marriage as an institution has no graduate and even couples that have been married for ages still needed tips on how to make their marriages work. 

The platform affords couples and those intending to tie the knot an opportunity to exchange notes on how to handle challenges, because to pastors some of such issues do not warrant divorce, adding that with proper guidance some marriages would have been saved.

“There are some divorced people who are regretting having opted out, though already late to mend such,” Pastor Sename said.

He said last year a number of couples were concerned by spousal separation via transfer, especially civil servants, saying  their desire was to see a reform in such transfers. He said the presence of district commissioner in such a forum was vital as they can advise at higher levels. ENDS