02 Mar 2015

When a middle-aged Swedish couple played with the idea of marrying in Botswana, it sounded like a joke to those around them; however, in the end the idea was decisively carried out in an occasion never to be forgotten.

Not only did Mikael Granath, 52, and Annalena Hellstrom, 49 - both first timers in Botswana - decided to marry here, but they also wanted to do it the traditional Setswana way after spending many years together.

And, when it was time to legalise their longtime relationship, it seemed there was no better way to do it than to travel all the way to Southern Africa, landing in Botswana to tie the knot in a traditional setting. 

They got married in Molepolole recently by deputy district commissioner Ms Boingotlo Ngaka at the Bakwena main kgotla. “We didn’t imagine that it could turn this way,” remarked the bride in a side interview. 

Getting married is generally a big and a demanding task that involves careful planning to the last detail to make the wedding day – the big day – a success.

Stories abound that brides spend sleepless nights planning for this very important day wanting to make sure that everything is perfect from food to décor; the perfect manicure and the attire must all complement one another.

It takes patience to go through all the necessary preparations, and one cannot dispute the frustration and impatience that couples often go through during the traditional negotiations.

For example, during patlo (seeking a hand in marriage) and lobola (dowry) stages, many couples find themselves at the mercy of their parents or elders because, according to tradition, they do not take part in such negotiations. 

As such, they have to rely on the negotiating teams to complete the rituals involved no matter how long it takes lest they attract bad luck to the new marriage. 

It is generally believed that in the Setswana culture, morero (negotiations) is the key to a perfect marriage, and only until all parties are satisfied with the negotiations will the couple be headed for a blissful marriage.

Traditionally, patlo and bogadi/ lobola are done early in the morning; it is quite interesting because nothing is taken for granted, and all these complications define a true traditional wedding and make it unique. 

Apart from the locals who had come to take part in the traditional ceremony, parents of the groom and bride, as well as friends and family members, also took part in the unusual occasion.

The Swedish nationals from both sides were inducted on the processes and they participated fully on the negotiations.  The couple tied the knot at the Bakwena main kgotla in the presence of Kgosi Kgari III, and, after the signing ceremony, they proceeded to Kgosi Kgari Sechele museum for a photo shoot.

They were then treated to a joyous celebration of traditional wedding songs, dance and ululations.  The couple also enjoyed a mouthwatering lunch with guests and local people, an occasion quite far from the Swedish tradition.

To Granath, the event has left many memories as he saqid: “Although I didn’t understand everything, I have lots and lots of impressions in my head.”  He likened the wedding to a melting pot of tradition, while the bride Helstrom, said that in Swedish culture, the wedding did not start that early.

The guests are invited at around 3’ o’clock in the afternoon and wedding proceedings can last up to 10 or 30 minutes then everyone leaves, she said.  They will then meet at a party in the evening.  Another difference is that in their culture, no one comes to help because the couple takes care of all the preparations. 

“Here it is fantastic because everyone assists in every way possible, she said, adding that it was stunning seeing everyone in a joyful mood singing and dancing. They said in Sweden only close relatives and friends were invited to the wedding. 

“The music is fantastic,” she stressed, whereas her husband, put it simple and said: “The wedding here is exotic, I have never seen anything like it before.”

The parents of the groom Bosse Granath and Maggan Granath could not hide their joy too. They said they were delighted for having been a part of their son’s wedding even though they were skeptical at first. 

They stated that they were taking with them memories full of the Setswana tradition and further explained that an event like this was one of those things that happened once in a life time.  They were also pleased that they made a lot of friends in Botswana.

Bakgotla Leririma, an elderly who represented parents from the bride’s side said they demonstrated the traditional processes of patlo and bogadi well. Phemelo Ntloyakhumo thanked the Swedish couple for having honoured their culture saying their decision to marry in Molepolole had made the rich culture of the country known to the world.

The couple was hosted by a friend Nelly Kabomo-Hogard as a way of strengthening ties between Botswana and Sweden. ENDS