19 Nov 2013

Women have been blamed for falsely accusing men of abuse just to punish the men when relationships go sour.

Speaking at the just ended women’s retreat in Kasane, regional magistrate for Kasane Mr Molema Molema warned women to desist from the practice. He pointed out that if people were doing things at the right time and following biblical principles, some of the cases would not even exist.

“If people had kids after marriage, we would not have cases of maintenance and absent fathers,” he said. Another magistrate for the area, Mr Willy Morweng said the magistracy was burdened with cases, some of which were spiritual and therefore did not need to be brought before the courts.

“That is why we have pastors and religious leaders to solve such,” he said. He also noted women had a tendency to withdraw cases of domestic violence, which made it difficult for justice to take its course.

Magistrate Morweng also noted that defilement cases could not be withdrawn because the courts had to protect the minors. He gave an example of a case where the concerned family tried to protect the culprit just because he was providing for the girl’s family. At the time the girl was only 11 years old.

Furthermore, he warned women that running away from marital homes in times of misunderstandings could be used against them if the man was to pursue divorce.

“Most men who use this against you can claim that they are being denied conjugal rights since the woman has run away or they can even claim that the woman is unfaithful based on her absence from home,” he explained.

He explained that division of estate when a couple divorced had nothing to do with which spouse was at fault as some people believed. “It is pure division of assets where people are married in community of property,” he said.

Magistrate Morweng however reminded women that they could make urgent applications if there was a pressing situation such as domestic violence. “You have the right to access the courts any time of the day, the police can even come to my residence when such an application has been made,” he said.

Ms Ntebogang Mwanza of Bible Life Ministries said that women also got themselves into situations by going for other women’s men, this she said escalated cases of violence. “Why can’t we wait for God to give us our own men?” She wondered.

The Social and community development office encouraged married couples to follow adoption procedure when spouses bring children from previous relationships into the new marriage.

The retreat ended with a heart wrenching testimony by Ms Bonno Gaefele who suffered for more than 10 years at the hands of an abusive and possessive spouse, leading to an encounter which left her with six bullets, most of which are still trapped in her head area.

Her then husband went on to commit suicide with the assumption that Ms Gaefele was dead. The retreat was a partnership between Bible Life ministries and Department of Gender affairs ahead of the launch of the 16 days of activism against gender based violence. Ends