15 Dec 2020

Botswana Gender Based Violence  (GBV) and Support Centre counsellor, Mr Emmanuel Keamogetswe says although women and girls have always been victims of a majority of different types of GBV,  men also get victimised.

In an interview, Mr Keamogetswe noted that since the first COVID-19 lockdown in April until September, the centre received more than 100 male victims of GBV perpetuated by their female partners.

He said those received were middle aged while others were minors who moved in with their mothers who had come to seek refuge at the centre.

“We received overwhelming numbers of male victims, some were walk-ins for counselling and general advice, others were alleged perpetrators who were called in and be given a chance to voice their opinions while others were minors whom their mothers were abused and they also fell prey,” he said.

Mr Keamogetswe indicated that from the numbers recieved,31 males were accommodated at the shelter for a short period while others attended  counselling sessions from their homes, mainly due to lack of other necessities at the centre.

He said victims complained of physical, emotional, sexual and financial abuse, “we receive cases of all forms of abuse and emotional abuse recorded the highest numbers,” he said.

Emotional abuse cases were mostly centred on custody and paternity related matters, while others involved parents that were being denied to visit or see their children despite that they paid maintenance fees, he added.

On other issues, he said, men lamented on some women who moved in with new partners and were failing to use the child maintenance fees for their intended purpose.

“Some men noted that their children are not taken care of up to satisfaction despite that they pay maintenance fees on regular basis, and whenever they complain it takes time for the matter to be resolved by the concerned offices,” he said.

Mr Keamogetswe said some men said they paid damages as a cultural way to accept the children but when the woman got married to a different man, no consultation was made regarding custody of the child. 

He said some men suffered financial abuse, citing that in some instances, a man would  take up loans to benefit both parties and in the long run their partner turned a blind eye when it came to loan repayment. 

Mr Keamogetswe said although they made efforts to address GBV among men, challenges they encountered included men who were finding it difficult to open up about their emotions. 

He cited societal and cultural perceptions and expectations that a man should never shed tears when hurt, as some challenges men faced. 

He said men shedding tears when hurt were viewed as weak, adding that this left men with no room to seek assistance, hence they bottled up their problems and in the long run it pushed them to commit suicide or murder. 

Mr Keamogetswe pleaded with society to accommodate and accept that men too were also victims of GBV and whenever they speak out, they should be given a shoulder to lean on.

He said this would go a long way in making a easy for them to open up and receive necessary assistance.

Meanwhile, Mr Keamogetswe lamented the slow progress on reported GBV cases, noting that  compromised the safety of victims, since some had no safe place to stay while waiting for their cases to be attended and resolved by law enforcement and other relevant entities.

He said though they made efforts to provide shelter for some victims, they never keep them for a long time due to lack of space and other resources.  ends